The Rule of Two

We were warned.

There are always two. Apprentice and Master.

We thought George Lucas was the Master. The genius who brought us the greatest Sci-Fi universe ever conceived. But, in the immortal words of Ben Kenobi, “There is another.” And, so apparently George was only a kind of Lord Vader to Disney’s Emperor. Which makes sense because Lucas’ hair has plainly been horribly disfigured in a lava accident.

(And no doppleganger jokes.)

If you haven’t heard, Disney bought Lucasfilm and by extension the entire Star Wars franchise — for $1000.

Sorry. Strike that. 4.05 billion dollars. (I always round to the nearest .05 billion.)

And, in case you’ve forgotten, Disney “is not a moon. It’s a space station.”

So, plan on Vader helmets with mouse ears for the foreseeable future. And, if you don’t think a Blu-Ray version of Little Mermaid isn’t being released with a Jabba cameo you’re naive. He loves the ladies with the seashell-bras!

I’m sort of conflicted, though. As so many who were raised on the classic installations, this sort of piling on is a kind of heresy. The volume of Star Wars movies and spin-offs is going to make the Bond franchise look like a Lifetime three-part mini series.

But the Anakin in me is sort of mischievously excited. Light sabers and wookies and jedis every two years??!

Welcome to the Disney World Dark Side.


(teenormous.com)

Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced Matt Pelishek.
(No joke I just have these kind of beats lying around. Crazy right? Providence and joys of song blogging.)

Today’s blong here:

The Empire

[Correction: I’m aware that the production company was originally “Twentieth Century Fox.” You can’t be too careful with Star Wars nerds. I would have never heard the end of that one.]

2 thoughts on “The Rule of Two

  1. Wow, there’s enough there that some people could look at that pic and say, “Hmmm…Maaaybe…”

    Lovely blog and some wonderful points made. Coincidentally, I was talking to my sister about it and, since Disney has been in the business of buying companies with IP that cater to the audience their in-house studios haven’t been able to capture (boys or, males, if you will) the purchase of Lucas Films is just part two in the saga (Part one, of course, being Disney’s acquisition of Marvel Entertainment or, as it is sometimes referred to by folks I know, “THE superhero company.”) Both studios had properties with a built-in male audience so, their purchases were no brainers following the last two “box-office bombs” from Disney (“Tron: Legacy” and “John Carter,” respectively. Furthermore, I told my sister that if Disney wanted to make it a full trilogy of IP buys that cater to males, they should purchase Hasbro (proud owners of both Transformers AND G.I. Joe) firmly securing the male demographic…that is, with the exceptions of Batman (Warner Bros/DC), Star Trek (paramount..?) and James Bond (MGM). I’ll wager to say that even if they DON’T buy Hasbro, inquiries shall be made…

    The blong here…was masterful. I’m still waiting for someone to match your ability to rhyme in references with such appearance of flawlessness as you did here (and, years back, when you did that song “Understudy” with both Tolkien and Harry Potter refs)

  2. Pingback: Trailer II | THE PRESS JUNKET

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