Ho Ho Ho


I was pretty sure this had already been resolved 25 years ago. Santa is plainly black:

But, every year I take an extra second to make the case.

Most people I talk to agree that a child is entitled to think Santa is black. But, they usually think so for a bunch of really wrong reasons. In an informal poll of friends, I was given the following incorrect answers as to why it’s okay for black children to believe in a black santa:

1. “Everyone’s equal.” True. I think. But wrong.

2. “The president is black.” Verifiably true. Absolutely no justification for believing in a black santa.

3. “Because their dads are black.” Presumptuous, even if true on average. Actually, a pretty decent answer considering dad’s are Santa.

4. “A black santa would be more athletic.” Racist. But, true.

5. “The commercialization of the Santa Clause was instigated at a time when the marginalizationizing of the African-American community lacked the intrinsic power of self-determination to affect any resistance to the coronation of a colonialist agenda to institutionalize the white man as jolly.” Dig.

6. “Jesus was black.” Well played.

HE’S. NOT. REAL!!!!!! Thus, you can picture him however you dang like!!!!! Holy crap.

You can imagine him pigmy. Or made of cheez whiz. Or infatuated with martial arts. Or dancing Shag. It’s make believe. And, the historical analysis of the ethnicity of Saint Nicholas is even more entertaining. Santa Claus has about as much to do with St. Nicholas as Tim Allen.

I happen to imagine him extra terrestrially tentacled. That would be awesome. And, super efficient.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq.
Today’s blong here:

Rap King Cole



Performed by ipoetlaureate. Music produced by Dave Santos.

Today’s blong here:

Christmas Lights


Back to School

lighthouse kids

And, now for my annual and inappropriately scholastic double entrendre.

Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced Dalama Jones. Lyrics here.

Today’s blong here:

Pick Up Lines


And He Was Numbered With The Transgressors

Sometimes it causes me to tremble.

empty tomb

Performed by the ipoetlaureate d/b/a sintax.the.terrific and playdough (collectively deepspace5). Music produced by Alex Goose.

Today’s song blog here:



Advice and Consent

I’m especially thankful for Presidents this year and their constitutional, if not limited, authority in nomination. My wife took this on our recent trip to observe it first hand.


Yeah, I know. That’s not the White House.

But, trust me on this one, Happy Presidents Day to me.

Performed by theipoetlaureate.  Music produced by nomold.

Today’s blong here:

The Least Powerful King


Yeah, We Had One

snow day 2014

A snow day.

Don’t forget to download Year Three for free.

Performed by theipoetlaureate (d/b/a sintax.the.terrific).  Music produced by re:flex the architect.

Today’s blong here:

Snow Day


To Me

I was born on this day many years ago. And, so, in a sense, was news rap. I think this calls for a vintage Swatch.



The Twelfth Day

wise men
Performed by Rap King Cole a/k/a theipoetlaureate a/k/a sintax.the.terrific.  Music produced by Freddie Bruno.

Today’s blong here:

Lament of the Diamond Star