In Orca News

In the words of Calhoun Tubbs, “Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Hear it goes!” At exactly one, I am the world’s leading expert on Sea World Orca raps. No one has dedicated more of their life’s work to the rapping of Orca related topics than me. To the extent such dedication has been recognized by the academies of science, it has. I have been honored with every possible award and accolade ever given for the rapping of Orca songs. 100% of them. I am known, in Orca, as, “meeeeeaaaaawwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the terrific.”

I finally saw Blackfish.

It largely substantiated the hype. In response to the damning documentary, Sea World has mounted a public relations campaign. I think the movie posed two main questions. First, a moral one. Is it right for us to keep a sophisticated mammal with epic scale emotional and environmental need in what amounts to a wash sink? Notwithstanding the cultural and scientific benefits, the answer seems pretty clearly “no.” The second question is a logistical one. To the extent they remain in captivity, is it permissible for trained handlers to swim with them? I think this question is a closer call than the movie implies. The real indictment of Sea World is a transparency one. Trainers were not given relevant information about the behavioral history of the animals. As a result, they likely were not able to make informed decisions about the attendant risk of their regular proximity to them, rightly justifying substantial bitterness. But, the movie represents an incident rate that suggests that the risk of attack might be an acceptable one so long as trainers are made fully aware and necessary precautions are taken to minimize impact to audiences.

The science is already in. How we treat animals says a lot about us. Apparently, we’re jerkfaces.


In other documentary news, my wife and I just saw A Band Called Death, about the rediscovery of an all-black seventies punk band from Detroit called “Totally Alive.” Just kidding. They were called Death.


A must see. And, it gives me hope that someone’s going to “coming looking” for my blong material one day too. Until then, more Orca raps all around.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s blong here:

No Room


The Reviews Are In . . .

Some of my biggest fans are spam. These trolling algorithmically generated comments really know how to make a man feel good. It’s indecipherable flattery like the following that gives me the strength and inspiration to daily press on.

You know thus considerably relating to this subject, made me in my opinion consider it from a lot of varied angles. It’s like men and women are not involved until it is one thing to do with Girl Gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. At all times maintain it up!

– Touch Phone

That was really sweet. And, well said, I might add. Consider it maintained up, Touch Phone.

Getting people out of their comfort zone:

Normally I don’t read post on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, very nice post.

– Hier Klicken

Still huge with Third Reich stenographers, apparently. This comment has been amazed me, too.

Appealing to mens’ interests:

You made some clear points there. I did a search on the subject and found most guys will go along with with your blog.

– SEO Software

You know you’re made when there exists polling data on your popularity among various demographics that even a software can locate. Wait. Why only most guys?

For some, I’m persistence paid off:

I have been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours lately, but I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

– Beginners Guide to Forex Training

Manuals love me. They tend to know exactly what’s worth enough for them. And what’s not. They also remember what the internet was like than ever before.

For others, I’m a role model and resource:

I noticed you are tend to be frankly serious about this specific! We are wishing to generate our web site and you own helped me which includes fantastic facts.

– Official Jordy Nelson Jersey

I can’t believe the jersey of one of the guys on my fantasy football team is a regular here. Not to mention, a burgeoning web developer, apparently. (Nice work, jersey of Jordy Nelson!.)

This comment apparently spent years in R&D before submission. Plainly, the engineering paid off:

I actually wanted to develop a small note so as to appreciate you for these magnificent advice you are sharing at this website. My extensive internet search has finally been compensated with good quality concept to talk about with my contacts. I’d assume that we site visitors actually are very lucky to exist in a fantastic website with very many marvellous individuals with valuable tricks. I feel somewhat fortunate to have used your webpages and look forward to so many more brilliant times reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things.

– Joline Silveria

Wait, I think that was just a neighbor. Regardless, it’s the highest sort of compliment to be credited with someone’s very existence inside a website and to finally be acknowledged as having valuable tricks. #Humbled.

I thought this last one was a little creepy until I saw the author. Makes total sense now, though:

Great tremendous issues here. I’m very satisfied to peer your article. Thanks a lot and i am having a look forward to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?

– Fake Rolex Watches

Stop it! You make me blush. Of course, I’ll look forward to drop you a mail, you silly Fake Rolex Watches, you!


Sporks over Knoons

So, we’re on vacation.

My wife and I are finally getting around to watching Forks over Knives, the convicting documentary I’ve discussed previously concerning plant based nutrition. As in, we’re literally watching it as I type.

So, I thought I’d do a running journal review.

8:58 Put in Forks over Knives.

9:00 My son calls me into the guest room, where he’s sleeping, to share some sabermetric pitching statistics about the Negro League ball club, the Homestead Grays. Don’t ask me. Your guess is as good as mine.

9:10 Movie makes it’s opening case: A plant based diet would cure our overweight and diseased generation.

9:11 I separate Tollhouse Chocolate Chunk cookie dough slabs by the recommended inch and a half on the bake sheet and slide into oven. Assuming “plant-based” diet, includes the Nestle plant in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Set timer for 14 minutes.

9:15 All three kids standing in the den at various stages of clothedness. My daughter has a dollop of toothpaste on her brush that could end gingivitis in Nepal.

9:22 Alarming statistics correlating animal proteins and cancer.

9:27 Line each of our bowls with a cookie, and spoon indiscriminate quantity of Blue Bell Cookies ‘n Creme on top. From logo on half gallon drum, now have devastating reason to believe that ice cream is somehow derived from what appears to be a four-legged, cloven hoofed “animal.” Thought it was a grain.

9:28 Return in time to catch a tight shot of a human chest splayed open for bypass surgery. Luckily only the slightest resemblance between deep tissue and an ice cream sunday.

9:28:30 Halfway through my own bowl. Have abandoned use of all utensils, forks, knives, and ladles. Just troughin’ it.

9:46 Terrified by frozen smiles of families enjoying the first processed foods in footage from the 50s. These clips likely represent the only remaining evidence that one could actually enjoy themselves in the company of family.

9:54 Slipping into dessert coma.

10:23 Motivational triad of “pleasure seeking,” “pain avoidance,” and “energy conservation” blamed for everything from over eating to the Iran Contra affair to Dick Vitale’s voice. Strong alibi next time I’m called a cowardly, lazy, pervert.

10:29 Speaking of lazy, wife catches me allowing last melted ounces of ice cream to pour slowly into my mouth from bowl held aloft over my reclined head.

10:42 85 year old woman confesses to using “a lot of gravy” in her life.

10:43 Think to myself, “I love gravy.”

10:49 Speaking of perverted. I’m fading fast, but I believe that an elderly asian gentlemen just said that a plant-based diet helps men continue to “raise the flag” so to speak. I know it’s nearly two hours in, but this movie officially has my attention.

10:54 Impressive string of anecdotal and clinical successes. Numerous individuals have had serious heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, fatigue, and all variety of other chronic conditions halted or even dramatically reversed.

10:55 Lick my fingers.

11:06 My wife and I discuss a hybrid strategy to incorporate, better, a plant-based diet for our family. Baby steps. Something like sporks over knoons.

But, speaking of cowardice errrr I mean “pain avoidance,” I don’t suspect I’ll have the guts to do any of this stuff. Because, frankly that’s what it will take in our culture of convenience and indulgence — some serious guts to change what we put in our guts.

I thought I’d repost the blong from a year ago.

Performed by ipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq from Germany.

Today’s song blog here:

It's like shhhhh