Willy Wonka

Blagojevich goes to jail Thursday . . . possibly for 14 years. 17 counts of political corruption. Stunning, right? Governor of Illinois. A Celebrity Apprentice contestant. Great bouffant. These people don’t go to jail for a decade and a half, right? Not for trading political favors, certainly? It feels like the white-collar iteration of the Michael Vick sentence. We all kill animals? I mean that’s what eating is, right? They all trade political cache. That’s what politics is, right?

In a call he made to broker a sweet deal for it, Blagojevich is heard referring to Obama’s open Senate Seat as “an effing golden” opportunity. I imagine a ticket. Willy Wonka style. Hahahaha. You can’t make this stuff up. People get behind a big desk or under a black robe and they feel unassailable. It’s just the way we are. And, Chicago is known for it’s own particularly cavalier brand of cronyism. Elliott Ness wasn’t the city’s only untouchable.

There is a part of white america that pauses differently when a suit goes to jail. I thought I was immune. But, then I saw him on the front page, again, tonight, and I balked. He looks like the entire male population of my graduating law school class. I think he shops at Dick’s Sporting Goods. He probably has a hammock in his back yard and takes a paper. This dude is a total jerk, convicted criminal, and blowhard, but somehow because he looks like my dad on Grecien and Just For Men, it seems unduly harsh to send him to real jail for 14 years. We send multiple offense pot heads away for longer.

And, we wonder whether our system is color and socio-economically blind.

Anyway, the real takeaway is that he’s going to jail. The process, at least here, worked. Whether your ritz or in rubble you can be held to account for your bad acts. Is it disproportionately still stacked against certain groups? Sure. But, Blagojevich going to jail is a win for the rule of law. We live in a country where a Governor can go to jail. I hate jail. For anyone. But, that’s pretty dang cool.

Speaking of Chicago, does anyone else think Kyle Korver looks crazy?

Performed by ipoetlaureate. Music produced by pumpkinFoot.

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