Color My Map

My wife couldn’t get over John King’s hands. (King, along with Wolf Blitzer, is one of CNN’s main electoral analysts on election night.) They were frozen in a sort of claw position no matter the gesture. I told her, “Uh. Everyone knows the molded action-figure-finger is the optimal hand positioning for manipulating the Magic Board.” Sheesk. She knows nothing about politics.

On another night where only “swing states” really mattered, John King’s crippled hands and political analysts, cable-wide, were literally swinging around digital states like misshapen blue and red pucks on ice. Grided counties and precincts and swirling percentages and exit polls and actual votes. It was like a math team had exploded.

This just in: I nailed my Montana prediction. Again.

The candidates have been campaigning relentlessly in places like Ohio and Pennsylvania and Virginia and Florida and Colorado for the chance that those states would swing to their ledger. Tonight Romney was only able to pendulum Virginia and Indiana and North Carolina, however. That was never going to be enough.

[For those of you keeping score at home, I went Obama, Romney, Obama on my predictions. Best 2 out of 3. Consider it “nailed.”]

I don’t mind the political striation of our country. It’s pretty amazing really. America is not comprised of drastically red and blue states, although such creatures exist. I mean, places like Florida and Colorado are literally split down the middle 50/50. And, that’s a real impressive thing. Our political differences live on top of each other. Don’t let the map and King’s hobbled hands fool you. It’s not red in the middle and blue on the edges. It’s a puzzle of both throughout.

I’m thankful for the mad theater of our national presidential race. It’s like the Super Bowl and Family Fued all rolled up into one. It creates real democratic energy and I believe we will see that turnout was up again for a fifth straight election.

My wife also wondered out loud whether John King was married for his incessant breathless and auctioneer style talking. Surely not. And, she vowed that she would certainly call to tell me to stop if I were ever in his position. Did I mention she plainly knows very little about politics?? Incessant talking like a precious treasure.

Congratulations to President Obama. I believed he had earned a second term. And while I don’t publicly endorse, I had privately hoped. As I indicated, we would have been in capable hands either way. But, I’ve always sensed in President Obama a discretion that I could trust even over policy I could not.


Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced djclutch.

Today’s blong here:

Swing State


A Win Win: The Final 2012 Presidential Debate

Don’t miss it, America.

If you’re too frustrated or cracking too many jokes or screaming at your TV too loudly, you’re going to miss the most important takeaway of these debates:

Both of these men can run our country.

They have different policies and different philosophies and different annoying mannerisms. The “Excuse me, I’m still speaking . . . .” versus the “Um . . . look . . . .” But, they’re leaders. Differently but comparably qualified. They’re bright, fluent in the important issues of our time, and able to engage with conviction. They strike at fallacies with pointedness but concede some common view. They have executive experience and grassroots.

And this is all new, right? I think we would say that it’s been a while since we felt exactly like that about either or both presidential candidates. In fact, you might have to reach back to something like Nixon v. Kennedy to find any comparable blend of ability and moxy on both sides. It’s usually a dull one and a charismatic one. Or a bright one and a less than bright one. Romney is no Prom King and Obama’s cult of personality has long since dimmed. But, they’re legitimately sharp and full of meaningful energy.

Trust me, the differences matter. And, don’t be fooled by the closeness of position reflected in tonight’s foreign policy debate. It’s hard to be too far apart on issues like, “Is it good to kill bad guys from other countries?” or “Do you think America is worth protecting?” or “Which is your favorite color? Red, white, or blue?” Their Americas will in fact look somewhat different. And, whether you have a job, how much you’re making, and how much you’ll ultimately keep may very well hang in the balance.

But, we should consider ourselves lucky, USA. One of them will lose. But, we really can’t.

Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s song blog here:

The Adults in the Room



This site doesn’t do endorsements.

Well, except of hair product and mythical creatures. I roundly support both. L’OrĂ©al and unicorns, specifically.

So the following is only a prediction and not an aspiration:

Obama will lose.

I believed a Romney victory was an effective impossibility until the last debate. In fact, I predicted an Obama victory. But, then, last Tuesday, it hit me. In the words of Adrian Balboa to Rocky right after his decision to avenge the death of his friend Apollo Creed by fighting the Russian, Drago, “YOU. CAN’T. WIN!”

“Oh, Adrian. Adrian always tells the truth,” the tired fighter conceded. “No maybe I can’t win.”

One could argue many hours, and we all have, about who is responsible for the last five years of economic ruin and subsequent stagnation. If the housing-market-bubble-securitization theory is to be believed, then really it is all to be pinned on many decades of legislative policy, republican and democrat, both as to securities regulation and mortgage lending. I would be hesitant to accuse any particular administration, Clinton, Bush, Obama, or otherwise.

But, whatever the cause, Obama presided over its consequences. And, it is clear to me at this point that it is simply too easy to criticize the numbers and to imagine what life would have been like if a Republican or really anyone else had been in the White House. For all Obama has accomplished in areas of national security and domestic policy, he can’t prove a negative when it comes to the economy: that things would have been much worse without him.

I long ago, made the case for Romney’s competence. For much of the primary season and into the general election, he seemed to have misplaced it. He has regained prior form in the debates. And that simple demonstration of composure plus a 4-year record of dismal economic activity, on Obama’s watch, all adds up to a loss. People are simply desperate that something new just might work.

It’s over.

But, Rocky knew that sometimes the fight itself was the winning and that your opponent has to be willing to sacrifice everything in order to beat a man willing, himself, to lose it all:

Maybe the only thing I can do is just take everything he’s got. But, to beat me he’s gonna have to kill me, and to kill me he’s gotta have the heart to stand in front of me, and to do that he’s gotta be willing to die himself. I don’t know if he’s ready to do that. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I have no idea what I’m talking about. I just hope that Obama has a black Lamborghini to drive at top speeds while Robert Tepper’s “No Easy Way Out” plays to a montage of boxing memories — including throwing a motorcycle helmet at a bronze statute of himself and double-time jump roping shirtless — in his head.

Just saying. November 6 will be one for the ages.

Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by dave santos.

Today’s song blog here:

No Easy Way Out


Signed Memorabilia

I almost passed out at my first baseball card show. I was like 14, maybe. My mom drove me to the local Marriott where it was hosted. I paid, I suppose, the $5 admission and then stepped into the ballroom/expo/conference hall gone third-world market bananas. If you’ve mercifully never been to a memorabilia show, it’s full of people (and by people I mean, men) who have zero regard for hygiene or hardly pants, even. But, there are baseball cards. Like Mayan-temple, bricked-high boxes of baseball cards you’ve only dreamed of seeing. I ran around the circuit of vendor tables twice, stumbled back out into the lobby clinching my Beckett Monthly, and then collapsed in hyper-ventilation next to my mom. I really didn’t think I would be able to go back in. It was too amazing.

A staple of card shows is signed memorabilia. Cards. Balls. Game worn jerseys. Chewed chaw. Athletic supporters.

Last night’s State of the Union felt like this weird double dare of an address where President Obama kept taunting congress to send him all this legislation that he would just sign. “I’ll do it,” he kept threatening. As everyone seemed to slip lower and lower into their chairs, desperately agreeing, “Okay, man, whatever you want.” “Energy bills.” “Congressional insider trading bills.” “Gas bills.” “Your restaurant check.” “A 1984 Topps limited edition Tony Gwynn.” “A bottle of syrup.” What began as rigorous clapping quickly devolved into a sort of collective cowering as the offers got weirder and weirder. “Small domesticated animals.” “A handful of Fritos.” “A Box Set of 24 Season 3.” “I’ll sign ’em. You just wait!”

The President has plainly turned his attention to the 2012 election and has deftly co-opted the right’s language of a leaner more efficient government. In one of the all-time, oratory plot twists, he admitted that Washington was broken. The address was generally strong and laid out what the President termed “A Blueprint” of future success, which seemed to include American auto manufacturing, American energy, American values, and some lady from Charlotte with two-toned bangs.

Perfectly, one of the most prolific hip-hop contributors of a generation, Jay-Z, had a series of three albums, painstakingly entitled, The Blueprint, The Blueprint 2, and The Blueprint III. You can’t make this stuff up. I have doubts about any rapper that needs three full sets of schematics.

Anyway, in honor of the President’s “blueprint,” I paid homage to Jay-Z’s hook in the refrain for tonight’s blong. As elementary as the original.

So, basically if you didn’t watch the SoU and you have no idea who Jay-Z is, this song will make about as much sense to you as three albums by the same name.

Oh, behave.

Performed by ipoet. Music produced by pumpkinFoot.

Today’s song blog here:

SofU: The Blueprint IV