I’d like to be in on the ground floor just once. I’ve pretty much been late to all the major parties.

Checkered Vans.




And, now it’s apparently too late to be hip to bitcoins.

The Winklevoss Twins are buying it all up and the market has seen the digitial currency rise to
over $1000 in value. Basically, if you hear about it for the first time on CNN, you’re one of the last three people in the world to know, including my parents who watch TV with one of those language censoring v-chips. By the time I finally saw Paul Walker on the front of CNN.com, the web had confirmed his death, deemed it a hoax, re-confirmed it, and then cast him in the sequel to that Fast and Furious franchise, 2 Fast 2 Furious.

Wait. You’re saying that movie has already been made?

See? This is what I’m talking about. Who knew they had made more than one. Awesome.

Anyway, once simply the tender of the dark web’s illicit activity, bitcoins are officially mainstream and I’m going to be like every other schmoe paying full market price.

Digitial currency is coming. Bitcoins may be the technologically prehistoric Myspace to the Facebook of something more durable. But, this is inevitable.

So I plan on mining a LOT Of bitcoins, Yukon Cornelius style.

But, the advent of Christmas reminds us about real value and that a prospector sometimes looks for riches in unexpected places, like an abominable snowhuman or a dentistry-aspiring elf or an isolated land mass of marginalized toys.

That’s how you get in on the ground floor, I suppose. By looking in all the places no one else will.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq.
Today’s blong here:

Yukon Cornelius
[Please share with a friend, family member, or co-worker. That’s how news rap gets famous. And, by “news rap,” I mean “me.”]