Apparently nothing is going to actually happen in 2013. For my annual predictions blong, I spared no traditional fortune telling method to learn the truth about the upcoming year. Scrying. Time travel. Palmistry. The coin flip. I shook the eightball. Adjusted the tinfoil hat (is that a thing?). Tuned the forks. Put dice in the mirror. Ate a bowl of lucky charms. Consulted the foreseeing abilities of small woodland animals. Spent the night at Stone Henge. Participated in the running of the bulls. Went to the Final Four in New Orleans (actually that was just to see the games). Nothing. I could only come up with like 3 or 4 real things to even make a guess about.
By the end, I was down to predicting the winner of the World Baseball Classic. Exactly. You don’t even know what that is.
No elections, like last year. Or terrorists at large, the year before. (And, yes, for new readers, I correctly foretold the assassination of Osama bin Laden in 2010. Not to mention snake bites somewhere in the world and an earthquake, again, somewhere in the known world.) While I’ve protectively guessed about natural disasters in the past to ensure at least a percentage threshold level of divining success, this year I was literally predicting the most basic elements of weather. Snow. Wind. That fire would be bright again this year.
Anyway, some things are for sure going to happen. I can guarantee you that.
As a humble aside, my iPredict 2012 delivered impressively again this year. Heat in 5 games (second year in a row predicting the NBA Finals winner down to the precise number of games). That the world would not end. (Eat it Mayans! Don’t trade arithmancy blows with the Master!) Within 4 of the number of total medals the U.S. would win at the Summer Games (Actual: 46 29 29 Predicted: 42 21 37). The growth of crops on farms. President Obama’s reelection. AND, that Manny Pacquiáo would get knocked out in the SIXTH round (it’s really a minor detail that I had Floyd Mayweather doing the out-knocking and not Juan Manuel Marquez). And, it’s unnecessary to revisit the relatively small and insignificant handful of near misses I had.
As always, I would make a DISCLAIMER: The ipoetlaureate does not condone or otherwise advocate the recreational use of divination, fortune telling, hokus pokus, or mumbo jumbo.
It is, however, my birthday on Monday and I will be in Las Vegas at the New Media Expo conference, where I will have presented on song blogging just the day before (January 6, 2013, 1:45 pm in Rio #4).
This might justify some light wagering. I was initially bummed to be away from my family on that day but then I remembered that I would be able to legally bet the NCAA National Championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame and watch it on a television the size of a KIA Sportage. Guilt assuaged.
With regards to today’s blong, I liked the thought that palm reading, or chiromancy, would confirm that the “future” is indeed in our hands, so to speak. We can either be a country and community willing to extend a helping, or losing-grip, one.
I know what I saw.
Performed by the ipoetlaureate. Music produced Dave Santos.
Today’s blong here:Eightballin' 2013 (Feeling Along)