03/24/15

Double Dirty Chai

As confessed, I’m out of time to produce new content right now. But, there’s news still to be covered in song and you look to me. So, I’ve tried to be diligent to recycle blongs relevant to timely news stories, but sometimes you just don’t have a prior rap news song to reboot. I know you know exactly how that feels. Rummaging around: “Where the hades did I put that Creflo Dollar Hurts Taxpayers rap verse?!”

Well, no fear. I’ve devised a fix. Introducing:

The Flong.

Blong + Blong = Fusion Blong

or Flong

So when you don’t have time to write a song concerning the CEO of Starbucks addressing shareholder concerns on the issue of same sex v. traditional marriage, you post together a song about Starbucks, and then one about same sex marriage, respectively, and you get a Starbucks-On-Same-Sex-Marriage Flong.

Sounds sort of delicious actually. Maybe that’s a flan.

Anyway, it’s like Pictionary.

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I’ve never meant to anyway, but I certainly have lost all standing to moralize. And, there’s painful prescience in today’s songs. But, the values stay the same, even when our hands and feet fail.

One Venti Flong coming up.

Star Buck-Bucks! Written and performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced Fab da Eclectic. Originally posted concerning Howard Schultz open letter to gun owner patrons

A Little Less Somewhow written and performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by Gudo. Originally posted concerning NY State’s legalization of same sex marriage.

Today’s flong here:

Star Buck-Bucks! A Little Less Somehow

03/21/15

Extinction Level Event

I originally posted today’s blong upon news of his trade to the Lakers. Steve Nash has formally announced his retirement.

Maybe the last of a breed.

nash

Performed by the sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by dj clutch.

Today’s blong here:

On Top

03/18/15

March Mental Breakdown

There isn’t a billion dollars at stake this year, which sucks because I finally guessed a perfect bracket. Anyhoo.

This year has brought a whole new meaning to the phrase “March Madness” for me. Basketball and my own.

But, tomorrow the ball is tipped.

Yours truly knows a little something about banging on the boards:

me and kris rotated updated

Not to be racist but but guess who’s not getting the ball here?

Please bear with me until April and I’ll be back on the grind. Until then some blong classics.

Performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s blong and annual tradition here:

The Madness

03/12/15

Watership Down Redux

I’ve been in desperate need of some good news. This qualifies.

After literally a lifetime of hop(p)ing, the following cinema news:

“A 21st-century CGI resurrection of the English rabbits of Watership Down is underway at the BBC and hopes to begin production soon.” (hat tip, Conduct Latimer)

I mean it’s inconceivable, but in case you haven’t heard, I have an album thematically based on Richard Adams’ Watership Down. Is there a news story I don’t have the angle on??

Undisputed champ of rabbit news rap.

Bonus Track, Shining Wire, featuring manCHILD:

03/8/15

Personal Anthem (Phoenix Jones and Last Fan Standing)

Because, well, everybody needs one.

All of song blogging is anthem writing, in a sense. Anthems for events and times and people. Taking topics uncommon, maybe even corny, to song writing and trying to find the kernel of real passion and humanity. Where is the glory and the grit in the story and sh!t?

From Diana Nyad to Work to Ride, the all black polo team, to Dallas Wiens, the face transplant survivor, I’ve been writing theme songs for years, even as I was just attempting to cover the people and stories, of the news, in art. And by “art” I may mean reconstructive surgery raps.

Most famously, the Phoenix Jones theme song:

Phoenix Jones was recently profiled in this ESPN expose. He was previously a regional MMA fighter. Apparently, it gets a little slow around Bristol after football season and before the NBA playoffs.

His ex-colleague in crime fighting and domestic abuse prevention heroin, Purple Reign, had these kind things to say about the anthem:

purple reign facebook
There are two takes. That we overuse hero or that there’s a little bit in all of us. I break slightly toward the latter. Of course, by contrast to Jones, my entire career in heroing consists of a broken arm jumping off a porch, caped, at four and rescuing my cat from the sewer. And, what little Superman I had in me has recently all been evacuated. I feel a lot like this:

So here’s to Phoenix Jones and the imperfect hero in all of us. You have a Personal Anthem. Your day has a soundtrack. Your show has a theme song. Your crew has a battle hymn. I just maybe haven’t written it yet.

In other anthem news, I am happy to officially announce that I have recorded the theme song to Bruce Campbell’s game show, Last Fan Standing, to premier on ConTV, the television adjunct to the famous Comic Cons.

Last Fan Standing Key Art

The show begins next week and the song is available now at iTunes and Amazon and can be streamed on Spotify. Search “Last Fan Standing.”

The real irony of the show is that people have spent a gob smacking number of hours actually sitting to be the fan, last standing. Celebrating the nerdist in each of us, today’s blong below.

Performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by Sir Chamberlain.

Lyrics here.

Last Fan Standing (Official Game Show Theme)

03/5/15

Free Running

As the trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev begins, I thought I’d recycle my Boston Marathon blong.

I’ll plagiarize myself from two years ago. I can’t say it any differently:

If you’ve ever been to Boston you’ve probably been forced to walk, likely by a mom or wife, some portion of the “Freedom Trail” against your will. You have to wonder why one must abandon so much self determination to walk a trail named “freedom” but, anyway. The Freedom Trail is, of course, a walking tour of Boston’s historic sites, where I’m proud to say I had a pair of Stan Smith’s re-cobbled only a few years ago. I also had a bracelet smithed out of a soup spoon.

Liberty is a type of collusion. An agreement among everyone to respect the rule of law in service of freedom. It’s completely voluntary.

Collusions, however, are easily broken. In fact, there is extraordinarily high incentive to do so. Our susceptibility to violence, therefore, is evidence of how well and complete the collusion of our liberty is working. We’re easy pickings. When an assailant from within or without violates the contract — the agreement not to fall into anarchy — they exact from us a cost. A toll for being so free, so open, so liberated. Our martyrs, whether at a marathon or in an elementary school or on a skyscraper, are a kind of penance paid to democracy and inalienable rights. Like a soldier or revolutionary, when we are murdered exercising our freedoms, even ones as routine as a road race, it is literally a kind of patriotic act. Every mundane act of our lives is a declaration that we would be free in spite of the ongoing danger to do so.

Pronation. It’s not just the roll of your foot when you run. It’s what we are when we run. Pro-Nation.

And, they’ll run again every year. Regardless the verdict. A marathon and a freedom trail.

boston-marathon-map

Performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by Sir Chamberlain.

Today’s blong here:

Pronation

03/1/15

Frank Lloyd Write

I’m excited to officially announce MidCentury Modern. Me and rheomatic. A tribute to old things made new.

Our first album, The Goodness, debuts later this year on Illect Recordings. We were in Nashville this week making things happen. More details to come. Includes some vintage guest spots.

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @midcent_modern and on Facebook at MidCentury Modern. #NewBecauseItsOld

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World premiere sneak preview. Shhhhhhhhhh! Rheomatic is going to be furious, yo.

Frank Lloyd Write

02/18/15

Never Too Old

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The full moon on a midnight snow is like daytime. As a kid, it was my favorite.

Performed by theipoetlaureate (d/b/a sintax.the.terrific).  Music produced by re:flex the architect.

Today’s blong here:

Snow Day