The Crayon is Mightier Than

Art is its own kind of weapon. Wit its round.

100% bulletproof.


Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by nomold.
Today’s blong here:

Color Me Bad


2014 Year in Review


Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by nomold.
Today’s blong here:



Bah Humbug

Yeah, I work with this guy.

No news. No rap. All attorney. So, it qualifies for publication. But, just barely. Don’t push your luck really awesome group of intelligent and amazing singers and musicians. I can sniff out a veiled challenge to the song blogging throne when it stinks. I still run things, ForwardtoCatchingARealLiveRapBeatDown.

So. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the original and worshipful carol.

I guess.



Music and words by ForwardtoDawn [Chris Schoen (my song blogging arch nemesis), Emily Schoen (guilty by biology), Brian Tate (dead to me), and Mike Golus (as soon as I figure out who this guy is? . . . ho boy)]


Each to His Own Town

nativity 2014

Merry Christmas.

Performed by ipoetlaureate and Sojourners Music. Music produced by djclutch.



And Have Come to Worship Him

magi 2014

Today’s blong here:

Lament of the Diamond Star


Man Shall Live Forever More

me and kids

Performed by theipoetlaureate d/b/a sintax.the.terrific & rheomatic.

Today’s blong here:

Salvation's Army

Salvation’s Army can be purchased at itunes.com and will be featured on the long-awaited midCentury Modern debut record, The Goodness.


Ho Ho Ho


I was pretty sure this had already been resolved 25 years ago. Santa is plainly black:

But, every year I take an extra second to make the case.

Most people I talk to agree that a child is entitled to think Santa is black. But, they usually think so for a bunch of really wrong reasons. In an informal poll of friends, I was given the following incorrect answers as to why it’s okay for black children to believe in a black santa:

1. “Everyone’s equal.” True. I think. But wrong.

2. “The president is black.” Verifiably true. Absolutely no justification for believing in a black santa.

3. “Because their dads are black.” Presumptuous, even if true on average. Actually, a pretty decent answer considering dad’s are Santa.

4. “A black santa would be more athletic.” Racist. But, true.

5. “The commercialization of the Santa Clause was instigated at a time when the marginalizationizing of the African-American community lacked the intrinsic power of self-determination to affect any resistance to the coronation of a colonialist agenda to institutionalize the white man as jolly.” Dig.

6. “Jesus was black.” Well played.

HE’S. NOT. REAL!!!!!! Thus, you can picture him however you dang like!!!!! Holy crap.

You can imagine him pigmy. Or made of cheez whiz. Or infatuated with martial arts. Or dancing Shag. It’s make believe. And, the historical analysis of the ethnicity of Saint Nicholas is even more entertaining. Santa Claus has about as much to do with St. Nicholas as Tim Allen.

I happen to imagine him extra terrestrially tentacled. That would be awesome. And, super efficient.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq.
Today’s blong here:

Rap King Cole



Performed by ipoetlaureate. Music produced by Dave Santos.

Today’s blong here:

Christmas Lights


Convict Tree

convict tree

My office tree.

Steroids? Check.

Dog fighting? Check.

Bountygate? Check.

Child abuse? Of course.

Nothing says God’s grace at Christmas like sports’ scandal.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s blong here:

Tree Trim