09/26/12

Delay of Game

So it looks like the NFL referee labor lockout has come to a close. For the first three excruciating weeks of the season, they’ve been using replacement officials not fit to call a foosball tournament. They’ve mishandled more calls than AT&T cellular.

In their disdain for the replacement crews, however, fans have begun to irrationally romanticize the competency of the regular referees to near mythological proportions.

We seem to have conveniently forgotten we hated them too.

Easily the most famous referee of a generation, is Ed Hochuli, known principally for his muscular physique cartoonishly squeezed into the black and white stripes. He himself has been at the center of numerous blown and material calls.

But, now you’d be led to believe that he’s about to lead a renaissance in call accuracy like the world of sport has never seen. It’s been reported that, in preparation for whenever an agreement might be reached, Hochuli has been feeding the regular referees undefiled egg yolks of a Pheonix, training them in high speed vehicle maneuvering, holding his breath for days at a time, and inventing a cure for concussion.

This is his legend.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by Sundance.

Today’s song blog here:

The Tall Tale of Ed Hochuli