Well if you haven’t heard, you haven’t been reading, because I brag about it nearly every third post. But, on New Year’s last year, I made in song, all my news predictions for the coming year.
Let’s just say – I nailed it.
Like double clutch reverse over a Kia nailed it. Like Bob Cousy between the legs no look nothing but net. Like Steph Curry step back 35 footer. Like hard-charging Zach Randolph sweatband nailed it. Like Amare Stoudemire thick-rimmed glasses and bow tie nailed it. Like LeBron getting it done in the . . . errr, I mean, Nowitzki one-legged jumper, nailed it.
I thought before I made my Eightballin’ 2012 predictions song, I would confess the exhaustive list of successes and sporadic moments of miscalculation. In basketball parlance and as a tribute to the glorious return of NBA hoops on Christmas day, my misses and makes:
“Snake bites” – make.
“Tsunami” – make.
“Hurricane” – make.
“Volcanic eruption” – make.
“Forest fires” – J.J. Berea scoop shot make.
“Shopping at retail stores” – CP3 floater in the lane make.
“More than 5 or 6 visits to my website” – make (somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 to 13, seriously).
“Countries at peace” – make.
“Countries at war” – aging Tim Duncan soft off the glass make.
“Middle East will still be at war” – Pau Gasol avoiding contact baby hook make, see id.
Kate Perry and Rihanna duet/Billboard hit – Ollie from Hoosiers turnover off the leg.
“Piers Morgan gets cancelled in months” – in and out (this one may still be on the rim).
TSA kicked out of airports – goaltending.
Dallas Mavericks win NBA Championship in 6 games – windmill dunk from the free throw line over Yao Ming while pumping a Shake Weight.
David Blaine stays awake for 12 days – err, timeout when you got no timeouts left?
WikiLeak of bank documents in May – Dwight Howard hard-off-the-back-iron miss.
Someone in the Senate will be outed as gay – not what I meant, but maybe an own-goal tip in?
“I predict I’ll feel sick at the way we behave” – free throw make; I did, really.
Dow Jones Industrial Average to 12,000 and then back – court length alley oop.
Unemployment rate to 8% – Ray Allen from the baseline falling out of bounds.
More HD less 3D TV – Russell Westbrook refusing to pass runner in the lane make.
“a little something then a whole lot more” – make.
Patriots win the Super Bowl – pinned against the glass.
Phillies in 5 – airball.
“Duke gets upset by 2 against Pitt in the Championship” – Hakeem Olajuwon open-hand rejected into the seats.
“you heard right here Bin Laden will be curtains” – a 60 foot leaning runner and 4-point play at the buzzer.
Doubt me at your own peril in 2012.