Sporks over Knoons

So, we’re on vacation.

My wife and I are finally getting around to watching Forks over Knives, the convicting documentary I’ve discussed previously concerning plant based nutrition. As in, we’re literally watching it as I type.

So, I thought I’d do a running journal review.

8:58 Put in Forks over Knives.

9:00 My son calls me into the guest room, where he’s sleeping, to share some sabermetric pitching statistics about the Negro League ball club, the Homestead Grays. Don’t ask me. Your guess is as good as mine.

9:10 Movie makes it’s opening case: A plant based diet would cure our overweight and diseased generation.

9:11 I separate Tollhouse Chocolate Chunk cookie dough slabs by the recommended inch and a half on the bake sheet and slide into oven. Assuming “plant-based” diet, includes the Nestle plant in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Set timer for 14 minutes.

9:15 All three kids standing in the den at various stages of clothedness. My daughter has a dollop of toothpaste on her brush that could end gingivitis in Nepal.

9:22 Alarming statistics correlating animal proteins and cancer.

9:27 Line each of our bowls with a cookie, and spoon indiscriminate quantity of Blue Bell Cookies ‘n Creme on top. From logo on half gallon drum, now have devastating reason to believe that ice cream is somehow derived from what appears to be a four-legged, cloven hoofed “animal.” Thought it was a grain.

9:28 Return in time to catch a tight shot of a human chest splayed open for bypass surgery. Luckily only the slightest resemblance between deep tissue and an ice cream sunday.

9:28:30 Halfway through my own bowl. Have abandoned use of all utensils, forks, knives, and ladles. Just troughin’ it.

9:46 Terrified by frozen smiles of families enjoying the first processed foods in footage from the 50s. These clips likely represent the only remaining evidence that one could actually enjoy themselves in the company of family.

9:54 Slipping into dessert coma.

10:23 Motivational triad of “pleasure seeking,” “pain avoidance,” and “energy conservation” blamed for everything from over eating to the Iran Contra affair to Dick Vitale’s voice. Strong alibi next time I’m called a cowardly, lazy, pervert.

10:29 Speaking of lazy, wife catches me allowing last melted ounces of ice cream to pour slowly into my mouth from bowl held aloft over my reclined head.

10:42 85 year old woman confesses to using “a lot of gravy” in her life.

10:43 Think to myself, “I love gravy.”

10:49 Speaking of perverted. I’m fading fast, but I believe that an elderly asian gentlemen just said that a plant-based diet helps men continue to “raise the flag” so to speak. I know it’s nearly two hours in, but this movie officially has my attention.

10:54 Impressive string of anecdotal and clinical successes. Numerous individuals have had serious heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, fatigue, and all variety of other chronic conditions halted or even dramatically reversed.

10:55 Lick my fingers.

11:06 My wife and I discuss a hybrid strategy to incorporate, better, a plant-based diet for our family. Baby steps. Something like sporks over knoons.

But, speaking of cowardice errrr I mean “pain avoidance,” I don’t suspect I’ll have the guts to do any of this stuff. Because, frankly that’s what it will take in our culture of convenience and indulgence — some serious guts to change what we put in our guts.

I thought I’d repost the blong from a year ago.

Performed by ipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq from Germany.

Today’s song blog here:

It's like shhhhh

5 thoughts on “Sporks over Knoons

  1. Now this is the kind of post I’m talkin’ about….you worked everything in: family, food, sports, dessert–and the slack intention to eat better. Can’t wait to hear more.

  2. Freak. It’s a super red flag for me anytime we’re on the same page. I don’t even think deletion of the post is too drastic a consideration under the circumstances.

  3. You’ll find this to be fun. I’m doing a physical experiment. Spurred on by seeing a few recent films with actors who changed their diets to fit the roles they were in, I’m going to attempt to see what 30 days of a particular change in eating (based, humorously enough, on a long time standard of most “professional” wrestlers) will do to my physique. It should be fun! I’ll let you know what happens once August ends.

    Also this will be interesting, while watching an episode of “Dino Dan” with my nephew, we discovered that plant eating animals have very specific teeth, which are made to eat vegatation. I looked it up and, our teeth have less inclined with such animals, begging the question why we should start questioning eating anything but vegatation and fruits?

    Its interesting how much we seem to hate the way we were designed. Granted…we also have a responsibility to not destroy what we were given, by being filled with gluttony. *shrugs shoulders*

  4. Does this 30 day change involve bovine hormone by any chance??!

    You raise a good point. I do think there is some fallacy, though, that says simply because we could or can that we must continue to. So to the extent our bodies are a product of design, which both you and I believe, that design would have necessarily been made with an eye toward millennia and millennia of survival. Our teeth would have needed to be adapted to a much less convenient time, for most of our human history, than the one we now occupy with fast food and grocery. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t continue to move towards better choices.

    It’s a kind of incrementalism. So maybe 100 years ago eating a cow was essential. Righteous even. But as we have the ability to make a different choice both for us and the cow, we should at least be asking the question. We might still conclude that eating the cow is just fine. Important. But, the sheer fact that we’ve done it for millennia, and that we are adapted to it, shouldn’t end the inquiry for all time. It’s like cooking over an open flame. We did it in antiquity because we had to. If the Hominid man had a stove or microwave he would have dang used it. We don’t continue using a bonfire for dinner simply because we’re theoretically capable of making fire at every meal. So I’m not sure I’m going to eat meat solely because I have the bicuspids to do it!

    You’re my man.

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