The Lion King

Naaaaaaaants ingonyama bagithi Baba!

[Today’s post sort of requires you to picture me at the peak of Pride Rock hoisting a blong aloft over my head. Not a tall order, since I’ve been seen holding blongs aloft before.]

My son’s cat, Hedwig, disappeared about 4 months ago. I’ve previously shared other cat tragedy on this site. Again, this time, we were pretty sure he’d gone to the Great Scratching Post in the sky, if you know what I mean. As it turns out, he wasn’t dead after all and someone recently had brought him to an area shelter. Unfortunately, the shelter didn’t find the ID chip, which robots from the future had implanted, until we were gone last week. So, the shelter called a couple of times without response, including a last message, which cryptically offered that we needed to come retrieve him that same day or else he was “going somewhere.” I later learned that that “somewhere” was a little place we like to call “Anderson County” South Carolina. Let’s put it this way, there’s a Blue Ridge “Beef” Plant Company in Anderson. Plus, Anderson is only slightly friendlier than a cage fight. I’m pretty sure stray cats there smoke Pall Malls.

But, in fact, he had not yet been delivered and I was able to bring him home yesterday morning. There was great rejoicing.

hedwig returns
Photo courtesy of Susan Brewer Photography LLC.

My son and his friend wrote and recorded a song to commemorate Hedwig’s return. Of course, that’s what he thinks you’re supposed to do. I’m not sure where he would have gotten that idea.

Just to be clear, anytime my children want to rap, I try and redirect their enthusiasm — gambling, a life of crime, homelessness. Anything but hip hop music. It’s just not a path I would choose for them. The heavy neck jewelry, the suffocating community support for your art, the cascading waterfalls of money you make. I want better for them.

But, he insisted and like so many fathers before me, I set him up with some egg-crate soundproofing, a condenser microphone, and ice grills.

I would have gone a little different way with the lyricism. Maybe some hot wordplay about the Aristocats or Garfield and Pooky. But, how does the saying go? A boy and his cat?

Welcome back, Hedwig.

“He’s the star of my life.”

Written, performed, and recorded by jwillis and escrilla.

Today’s blong here:

Hedwig Returns

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