Rising Action

I write for a living. And, so I enjoy good copy and a nice turn. But, whoever is doing the correspondence for North Korea is plainly from the future of writing. Or maybe the sideways of writing. Like a type of writing that runs parallel to actual writing. He’s like the North Korean Homer. Or maybe the Commie Charles Shultz. Epic comedy.

In a prior statement North Korea had announced a “Special Operation Action Group,” ambitiously proposing the annihilation of South Korea within a very, very, very narrow timeframe:

Once the above-said special actions kick off, they will reduce all the rat-like groups and the bases for provocations to ashes in three or four minutes, in much shorter time, by unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style.

Just yesterday, in reaction to recent South Korean protests, North Korea facsimiled over a statement that again threatened plans to “strike mercilessly without notice,” which is kind of interesting insofar as the facsimile appears to constitute the precise thing they blood-swore to never, ever give. Notice. Maybe they just meant no additional honk at the end of the driveway. I also love how we’re at a technological point where hearing that something was faxed sounds to our ear like an admission to cobbling one’s own shoes. Or smoking a corn pipe.

twain pipe
(The ipoetlaureate enjoying a good drag.)

In the past, the ipoetlaureate has been privy to additional details about the “unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style.” I previously took the liberty of making an English translation of the North Korean threats reduced to music and which also reprises arguably the most famous rap line I’ve ever written (@ 1:40).

I have posted the blong again below in light of yesterday’s additional threats. Here’s to a LOT more pen-pallory between these great giants of discourse in the new year.

Words ostensibly by Kim Jung Un’s personal copywrite. Translation and performance by the ipoetlaureate. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s song blog here:

The Unprecedented Peculiar Means and Methods of Our Own Style

2 thoughts on “Rising Action

  1. I don’t think I’ve ever directly addressed the fact that you have a handful of my favorite all-time rap lines that have literally made me laugh out loud to high degrees. Of course the Ron Artest one comes to line but, I think you should know that your timeliness of reference use has beaten many people to the punch. You were the first guy to reference Dylan (from making the Band 2nd season.)

    Coincidentally, my roommate’s bestfriend has been dying to own a copy of that season of the show and will be quite happy this Christmas when he opens a gift.

    North Korea is a constant source of both head scratching and comedy. It would truly be amazing if they proved to be just reeeeally savvy at making everyone think they’re as silly as they are via the media…but its less of an expectation for me than, say, our technological advancements eventually being the largest part of societies downfall.

    I guess that could be funny too, depending on what stuff you’re aware that’s out there…

  2. Punches haven’t always been my forte. I think I did get there first on a couple though and glad you noticed. I’m not sure how many caught the Dylan reference.

    There’s no telling where North Korea is heading.

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