Ho Ho Ho

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I was pretty sure this had already been resolved 25 years ago. Santa is plainly black:

But, every year I take an extra second to make the case.

Most people I talk to agree that a child is entitled to think Santa is black. But, they usually think so for a bunch of really wrong reasons. In an informal poll of friends, I was given the following incorrect answers as to why it’s okay for black children to believe in a black santa:

1. “Everyone’s equal.” True. I think. But wrong.

2. “The president is black.” Verifiably true. Absolutely no justification for believing in a black santa.

3. “Because their dads are black.” Presumptuous, even if true on average. Actually, a pretty decent answer considering dad’s are Santa.

4. “A black santa would be more athletic.” Racist. But, true.

5. “The commercialization of the Santa Clause was instigated at a time when the marginalizationizing of the African-American community lacked the intrinsic power of self-determination to affect any resistance to the coronation of a colonialist agenda to institutionalize the white man as jolly.” Dig.

6. “Jesus was black.” Well played.

HE’S. NOT. REAL!!!!!! Thus, you can picture him however you dang like!!!!! Holy crap.

You can imagine him pigmy. Or made of cheez whiz. Or infatuated with martial arts. Or dancing Shag. It’s make believe. And, the historical analysis of the ethnicity of Saint Nicholas is even more entertaining. Santa Claus has about as much to do with St. Nicholas as Tim Allen.

I happen to imagine him extra terrestrially tentacled. That would be awesome. And, super efficient.

Performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by Jaq.
Today’s blong here:

Rap King Cole

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