08/21/17

Two Minutes of Fame

I live directly in the Path of Totality (Greenville, SC), which I’m pretty sure is an Alice in Chains album. We’ve been a recently growing and popular destination for industry and the arts and cyclists and beards. Now even major galactic bodies are coming to see what all the buzz is about. So, I’d like to be the first to welcome the moon’s shadow to GVegas. We’ll probably start a religious-themed pub for you called “My Coffee Black” or a walking trail in your wake unironically named the “Bike Path of Totality.”

So, today is really great and all. I’m super into celestial events. In fact, I’m specifically hoping to either burn in my retinas or be taken up in a UFO hiding in the moon’s umbra. But if you think about it, an eclipse is mostly a failed cosmic coup. It’s literally the story of a dead, useless thing trying to supplant the shine of one of the most wildly powerful, life-giving live things. And, not surprsiingly, it fails miserably. It has no combustion or luminescence of its own. And, then right at totality, the moon must come to this horrible realization that it’s become literally invisible to the world without any independent source of light. All it has to show for is the sad and utter darkness of its own shadow. And, then, again, the light prevails. It’s like the moon’s two minutes of fame. Or shame.

Sounds about right.

So Happy Eclipse Day!

Oh and I’d like to welcome Beatowski to the song blogging experience. I plan to bless his free instrumentals mercilessly with rap news.

Performed by sintax.the.terrific. Music produced by Beatowski.

10/30/12

Mayhem

What a week.

First, no pun intended, but I’ve been way under the weather.

Second, according to national news accounts a guy in a ski mask stole my SSN from the South Carolina Department of Revenue. Is that because it’s actually unseasonably cold in his apartment that he wears a ski mask or are cyber terrorists also avid downhill skiers?

With leather:

Apparently it’s freezing even when you’re physically floating inside the actual program code:

Dressed for success:

Wait. Those are my lips too! Have they no decency?!

And then last night Sandy affected unspeakable damage on the Northeast. My brother and his wife live in New Jersey and work in Manhattan and were thankfully out of harms way.

Both tragedies are difficult because they leave you with hardly any goat to scape. An anonymous hacker and mother nature. Like mayhem’s invisible hands. South Carolina and the Northeast are left to pick up the pieces without much hope for justice.

One bright note, I pity the ski-masked bandit that swipes my life and identity. Trust me, it’s no picnic being a news rapper. The crushing fame. The sophisticated and lucrative business deals. Carpool. Like O. Henry’s short story, The Ransom of Red Chief, I suspect that they’ll be returning me, to me, any day now.

All our thoughts and prayers are with those in the storm’s wake tonight.

Written and performed by theipoetlaureate. Music produced by djclutch.

Today’s song blog here:

Dean Winters